Oh Mother

I pride myself on my work and I think I can really bring a character alive, in most cases.  You want to be dominated by a fiery red head in 5 inch heels?  I am on it!  Looking for that housewife who's secretly cheating on you and you wanna stroke to the tormenting ideas of all the nasty things she's doing and how much more she's enjoying it with the neighbor than with you?  Bring it! Babysitter? Corporate slut? Dirty older sister? I can make it happen.  But one character I regularly struggle with - Moms.

I get about 2 calls a month where the whisper message ( I answer the phone and hear a 1 sentence summary of what the caller is looking for. "you are an eager young college student with a tight teen pussy" or 'you have gigantic boobs.  No smaller than FF's") saying "you are a stay at home mom in this, you are a MILF" and I tense up.  What does that mean?  If you wanted me to be your mom I could do that.  Sweet - I give you some spankings for being a bad boy, you get turned on, I laugh at you and end up seducing you bla bla bla.  But when the caller just wants A mom, what do they really want?  So much of the opening of a call goes into saying what you were just doing.  It sets your character.  If I'm a college student I just got out of class.  I'm a horny housewife I just did the laundry or got back from grocery shopping.  It's obvious I'm filling that role you requested.  No one wants to start talking for 10 minutes to some random girl who was just back from the gym and you thought she was the hot young college student and she later mentions that she just bought this house and got a great interest rate on it, or she just seduced her corporate boss.  So lay it out early. Make it obvious what you are.  But what does that mean for a stay at home mom?

My mom didn't stay at home and I don't have kids, so sadly all of my concepts about stay at home moms are from stereotypes in my mind.  I stay at home, kids are running all over the house, I clean up messes non stop, I'm tired, I'm frustrated, I listen to kids shows all day long....where does the sexy phone sex image work into this?  This is one area that I don't have any idea of any of the sexy stereotypes  might go.  Needless to say, my callers are usually quick to end the conversation.

On a side note- I also sometimes struggle with the giant boob calls.  They are really rare to get, but when I imagine having amazingly large boobs all I catch myself thinking of is how many things in life would be different.  Bra buying would be a struggle and everything would be specialty.  I'd never want to lay on my stomach and I'm not even sure if I could wear a bikini or tank top.  What are the rest of my proportions?  If I'm 5'2, do my boobs go down to my knees? How far back do I have to have the seat of the car to fit them behind the steering wheel, but can my legs reach the pedals then?  None of these thoughts help me bring a woman with state fair winning pumpkin sized breasts to life in a sexy manner either.

Grape Expectations.

Today I spoke with a caller who looooooves having grapes stuck up his ass.  I'm gathering it might be the only way for him to climax is feeling or thinking about those grapes.  I spend a lot of time thinking about this guy because he calls to chat about normal things for about 15 minutes and then always leads the conversation to grapes.  It's fascinating to see how he's engineered any topic to ultimately lead to them.

Examples: How his holiday was---> Weather in TX-->Vacation plans to go to Canada to wineries---> Icewine---> Grapes in his ass.  

or

Bad day at work---> went to the gym----> favorite team won football game----> Potential excitement about the superbowl---> Superbowl commercials---> remember the California Raisins? ---> amazing how raisins are just dehydrated grapes---> grapes up his ass.  

He reminds me of the guy who goes to buy porn at the sleazy gas station, but also buys peanut butter, razors, taco shells, windex and oregano.  oh yeah and one 'Giant Jiggly Jugggs' and 'Ball draining cum sluts' please.  Like the windex and oregano eased into the porn somehow.  Oh! Naturally you'd want those to go with the taco shells and 5lbs of grapes.  Obviously.

But I also spend time wondering - how?  How do you learn you love grapes shoved up your ass?  What leads to this?  Was it experimentation for years and the grapes won out over the trials he had with other fruit?  Kumquats are more durable, but expensive, and the bananas made him feel awkward about his sexuality and eating his mothers banana bread.  Grapes - ah, neutral, small and not usually baked into goods.  

How do you get the grapes in there? I imagine them to smash quite often and is that good? or frustrating?

But most importantly - how do you find a woman to be into that as well.  When do you tell her?  If his need for them is as intense as he makes it sound on the phone, it has to be before/ during the first time you guys have sex or there wont be a second time.  Is all of the conversation practice for working up to tell someone in real life?  

Fascinating stuff.