Yesterday I got a very visual caller who eagerly listened to my heavily detailed description of my hair, height, measurements, freckles, - all the basics. He then asked me "And what does your pussy look like?". I was immediately puzzled. I've had a fair number of callers ask me to describe my nipples or breasts in more detail. They usually are wanting super gigantoid saucer sized areolas and nipples as broad and prominent as a man's thumb. So I get that. But to describe my vagina? It seemed easy at first - I used all the normal adjectives you would want to hear - hot, tight, wet, smooth, soft......ummmm did I mention smooth? The man listened and remained silent waiting for more visuals. "umm, and it's got really nice sexy outter lips. uh, the vulva I think it's called.". "Go on." The man prompted pleasantly. "Oh, well it's tan...you know, like the rest of me. I'm naturally tan all over, so no tan lines for me! Ha Ha..heh..um."
"And? What else?"
Now, I am by no means an expert on what all the different vaginas in the world look like. Not by a long stretch, but I have seen a handful and in the big picture they all looked pretty similar. I mean, I'm sure they are all special unique snowflakes and have different wrinkles and folds and things, but over all the anatomy is the same. But to be fair, I also haven't spent a lot of time just looking at them. Just studying them as though I was going to draw a still life. So I might have been missing out on very important nuances that set them all apart. But what I'm struggling with now is - what words can be used to describe now that isn't unappealing sounding? Oh you know, it's got these folds of skin, and some flaps here and there. Fleshy, wrinkle, - none of these words sound hot to me. I bought some more time talking about my clit, but the caller kept steering the talk back to the vagina specifically. "But what does it look like?" I started to build a theory that the man had actually perhaps never seen a woman's vagina, in which case I guess words like 'hot, wet, and smooth' wouldn't cut it for creating imagery. I gritted my teeth and dove fully in, describing the vagina and all it's nooks and crannies focusing more on the details and less on the glamorizing. With the help of my trusty copy of Anatomica, I was able to hit every spot. When I had finally run out of things to describe I paused meaningfully and the guy sighed and said "mmmm, sounds lovely. Thanks!" and hung up.