I just got off the phone with an interesting gentleman. In many ways he was a dream customer because he did a majority of the talking, and that's always nice. However, early on it became apparent that he says out loud the sound effects of the pretend sex we are having. So for example, we are having sex doggie style, and he tells me he's slapping my ass. Normally in this situation I'll slap my wrist to give the sound effect and ensure the caller can hear how involved I am in this fantasy. However before I could do it the guy starts shouting 'SLAP! SLAP SLAP!' in between what started as a normal sounding grunt but progressed into the Tim the Toolman's trademark grunt ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAhVmjptZMI&NR=1) I think the noises and faces we make while fucking are totally in context when involved in the act, but when you look at the face or hear the noises out of the act, they seem laughable or frightening sounding.
Later he was telling me how wet my pussy was, that he could hear his "cock sloshing inside my pussy" and then said "SLOSH SLOSH SLOSH" Wow. Firstly, what woman EVER wants to hear the word 'slosh' in the same breath as her girlie goods? The word slosh makes me think of a bucket, which isn't the sexiest thing I like to compare my goods to. Secondly - slosh slosh slosh? Surely this guy doesn't do this during 'real' sex right? He did also tell me he was sliding his cock in and then he was gonna "wiggle it around in there". That wording makes my vaginas self esteem go down, and makes me squirm with discomfort all at the same time.
The rest of the call had hits such as 'Bam!', 'Pound' and a rerun of the original favorite "Slap".
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